The Day Before

Hello,

30 days, when we think of 30 days it does not seem like alot. To me it sounds like a small goal, one I can defeat. But it is scary to be honest. I do not think I have done anything successfully for 30 days straight except eat! I am blogging here under one of my old emails because I want to be able to be honest. I do not want to have to worry about my husband or friends reading it and judging me. I have yo yod with weight lose for years. About 2 years ago I thought I was on the road of beating it. I joined weight watchers and lost 30 lbs easily. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. What a blessing she is! All my kids are!! I tend to do very well during the pregnancy and gain little weight. It is after I fall apart. Tired from late night feedings, eating quick unhealthy food, no time for me or working out, I could give you 1000 excuses. Point being, they are just that, excuses. Sad excuses. If it was important to me I would find time. I find time to shop online, I find time to chat it up on facebook with friends, if I wanted to get my booty off the couch and exercise I would.

I need to. I need to be here for my girls. I need to be healthy and be able to run with them without being winded. I also need to do it for me. I am an ok looking chickie! LOL I clean up well! I have always loved, clothes, shoes, hair and makeup and right now I feel blah. I feel uncomfortable around everyone including myself in front of the mirror.

You know what I was thinking about last night......is food so good that it is worth me feeling this way??? Seriously, what in the world could be so gratifying that it could justify me doing this to myself, killing my self esteem. Making me uncomfortable in my own skin. I need to do this. I am going to visit my family I have not seen in a year on November 18th and I want to go and be proud of me and who I am. I want to be proud of my whole package, all of me, inside and out!

So here I am, the day before I start. I am going to do Jillian Michaels 30 day Shredd. I am going to do it daily! Yes daily!! I am going to eat healthy and post it here. And worse yet...I am posting my weight with photos!!! (the horror!)

I could really use support during this month, I could really use people out there going through the same just saying hello! I know I can do this!

Ok, Here are the before pics!! I did not say they were pretty...LOL. But I am brave if nothing else! Lets see what a difference 30 days makes!

Thank you so much!